Dear Gabby
Its Tuesday! I always seem to have a bad day on a Tuesday. My Sister reminded me a couple of weeks ago that Tuesday was the day we lost you. So somewhere subconsciously Tuesday's are marked as tough days. Thanks to your awesome dad for reminding me :-)
It seems to be a very strange time in the world right now, so many people I know are going through a really tough time and are experiencing real tragedy and situations that before seemed like they were distant and happened to other people, not to me and not to the people that I love and care about.
Its seems like the world is going crazy around us and it sometimes feels like its difficult to stay afloat in all this craziness.
Perhaps all this madness is happening right now to wake everyone up. If I think about what I went personally went through and the awakening that happened to me, it makes sense.
Maybe we as human beings are starting to realise that the lives we have been living have not really been living at all and have just really been struggling to survive until we die. I know that sounds dismal, but I think that most people live their lives like that.
Maybe the struggle and the pain forces us to look at our lives and it puts everything in perspective again. It gives us the choice to get rid of the things that don't work for us any more and it offers an opportunity to make changes in our lives.
For me personally, I realised that my lifestyle was killing me slowly but surely. I worked too long, I never appreciated my family, I never looked after my health at all and I was a ticking time bomb. After losing you it dawned on me that my priorities in my life were all wrong and that it was time to make some changes in my life. It has been a bit of struggle, I think as human beings we dont like change and it has taken some time to make real changes, but I have been doing it little by little everyday and I am really proud of what I have achieved so far. I still have a long way to go, but I see it now as journey back to life and not a quick switch.
So perhaps pain and struggle are good, although it is not a pleasant experience and it really sucks. Perhaps there is purpose in pain. Perhaps the why we are looking for is not the why we should be looking for. I know I may never have the answer for why this happened to me from a physical perspective and the doctors I have spoken to and the stories that I have read has said that these things just happen and there is no explanation However I am the kind of person that likes to take a bad situation and find the good, because there is always good in everything, whether we see it or not, it is there.
So for me the good is that I have awakened from my slumber and I have a new perspective on life. Its not always plain sailing, but little by little and day by day things are starting to flow easier. Things are starting to get better and I am starting to feel like a new person.
Thank-you my little angel for all the messages that you are sending me everyday. I see them and I just wanted to say thank-you! They give me hope and they remind me to keep on this path and not let myself slip back into the darkness.
Love you Forever
Mom
Its Tuesday! I always seem to have a bad day on a Tuesday. My Sister reminded me a couple of weeks ago that Tuesday was the day we lost you. So somewhere subconsciously Tuesday's are marked as tough days. Thanks to your awesome dad for reminding me :-)
It seems to be a very strange time in the world right now, so many people I know are going through a really tough time and are experiencing real tragedy and situations that before seemed like they were distant and happened to other people, not to me and not to the people that I love and care about.
Its seems like the world is going crazy around us and it sometimes feels like its difficult to stay afloat in all this craziness.
Perhaps all this madness is happening right now to wake everyone up. If I think about what I went personally went through and the awakening that happened to me, it makes sense.
Maybe the struggle and the pain forces us to look at our lives and it puts everything in perspective again. It gives us the choice to get rid of the things that don't work for us any more and it offers an opportunity to make changes in our lives.
For me personally, I realised that my lifestyle was killing me slowly but surely. I worked too long, I never appreciated my family, I never looked after my health at all and I was a ticking time bomb. After losing you it dawned on me that my priorities in my life were all wrong and that it was time to make some changes in my life. It has been a bit of struggle, I think as human beings we dont like change and it has taken some time to make real changes, but I have been doing it little by little everyday and I am really proud of what I have achieved so far. I still have a long way to go, but I see it now as journey back to life and not a quick switch.
So perhaps pain and struggle are good, although it is not a pleasant experience and it really sucks. Perhaps there is purpose in pain. Perhaps the why we are looking for is not the why we should be looking for. I know I may never have the answer for why this happened to me from a physical perspective and the doctors I have spoken to and the stories that I have read has said that these things just happen and there is no explanation However I am the kind of person that likes to take a bad situation and find the good, because there is always good in everything, whether we see it or not, it is there.
So for me the good is that I have awakened from my slumber and I have a new perspective on life. Its not always plain sailing, but little by little and day by day things are starting to flow easier. Things are starting to get better and I am starting to feel like a new person.
Thank-you my little angel for all the messages that you are sending me everyday. I see them and I just wanted to say thank-you! They give me hope and they remind me to keep on this path and not let myself slip back into the darkness.
Love you Forever
Mom
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